Category: Hardships

Ask Lyn About Homeschool: Dealing with Negative Reactions to Your Choice

1/8/2015

by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff

When a parent chooses to homeschool, that decision is generally one of great importance to them. Unfortunately, not everyone will always agree on this issue, leaving most parents who homeschool vulnerable to questions, as well as disapproval by some. I’ve received several “Ask Lyn” inquiries about this dilemma, as well experienced it firsthand. This is simply something will occur with many major decision-making situations. Here are some ways to deal with the negative reactions you might face from others when informing them that you are a homeschooling family.

Stay Calm and Positive

The most important thing you can do when someone reacts negatively to your schooling choice is to remain calm. Staying cool and collected will not only represent homeschools in a positive light, but will leave your mind (as well as the other person's) more able to communicate effectively. Explanations will come out better and be better understood from a person who is calm and has a positive outlook.

Listen To Concerns

Even when someone has a differing opinion, it is still important to listen to their concerns. Consider why they might have certain thoughts about homeschool. Figure out a way to ease or resolve those concerns with helpful information on the concerned response. Don't be afraid to state your case, but at the same time, be understanding. Just because someone does not agree with you, it does not mean their concerns are not valid. It also does not mean they have anything against you as a person.

Be Informative

People make the decision to homeschool for a wide variety of reasons. It is common to research the reason you choose to homeschool. However, it will be to your benefit to also keep up with current information on the main topics that come up about homeschooling, such as socialization, test scores, a parent's ability to teach, and curriculum questions, to name a few. When you are armed with information, rather than just arguing or stating your opinion, it can be much easier to help people better understand your choice to school your children at home. Reading articles on homeschooling, studying current events and homeschool laws, and even keeping up with the most recent research studies on homeschool, can help you stay informed.

Let Your Choice Speak For Itself

This method works best for dealing with those who will be around you most often, such as friends, family, and co-workers. Generally, these are the ones who will be the most critical of your choice. This is because these are the people who care about you the most. They are not always questioning you to be nosy or to boss you around. Quite often, it is because they are concerned about your children. Instead of being offended, use the options above, but also let your choice speak for itself. Over time, as your children advance in their studies and also thrive in social skills, behavior, and other areas, the reason for your choice will become quite evident. When you are fully committed to your homeschool choice, most often the children will, indeed, thrive. While you may deal with some negative responses and reactions, the fruits of your dedication will show in time.

*I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network

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Homeschool Tips: Coping with Sending Your Kids to Traditional School

12/3/2014

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Advice for Parents Facing This Difficult Transition

by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff

After many restless nights (or not), you finally come to the decision that you are no longer going to be a homeschool teacher. Whether that decision came easy or not, there is likely something related you'll need to deal with. For me, the decision to start homeschooling was easy and natural. The decision to end that path and return two of the kids to traditional school, even though it was only for a while, was anything but.

Recognize your reasons for the choice. Perhaps, like I did, you have too many hats on your head and need to add another. I am a freelance journalist with several clients and am founder and co-owner of a media company. Because I cannot halt either of these related businesses (can't pay the bills without a career), the homeschooling was unfortunately the major task that would make room for me to have enough time to work to pay the bills. Once I got into a better routine, I was able to go back to teaching the kids. But at that time, I had to transition two of them back into traditional school.

Don't be too hard on yourself. I have had to repeat this advice to myself several times on this journey. No matter the reason for your decision to end your homeschooling journey (whether temporary or permanent), you made the choice for a reason. Sometimes things happen in life that are out of our power and not our fault.

Feeling guilty won't help you adjust. As long as the new schooling situation is a positive environment, there is no need to feel guilty for this choice. Again, I remind myself of this one. It's true that no one will care about your child's education more than you. However, that doesn't mean you are doing something wrong by sending them to traditional school. Remember that what you have taught them will follow them. Also, you can (and should) still help with some aspects of education, even when they are in traditional school.

Cry if you need to. The feelings can often get overwhelming. That's understandable. After all, these are your kids and their education means everything to you. Crying can help get out those built up emotions and sometimes you just have to. This is a natural coping mechanism and if sending the kids back to school invokes tears, let them roll. Just try not to do it in front of the kids to keep their experience as positive as possible.

Get some exercise. Yoga often helps reduce stress, as does running and many other types of exercise. If you need to relax, opt for stretching and yoga. But if you need to release pent up feelings in a more active way, go for running, bike riding, or even power yoga.

Get involved in the school. Maybe you don't have time to teach the kids all day anymore. But you can still volunteer to commit some time to school activities. Join the PTA, chaperone field trips, help with a bake sale, and more. Whatever you can assist with will likely help both you and your child cope with the fact that you will no longer be the teacher. This shows your child that you do still care and it also may help relieve some of the guilt associated with dropping the teacher role.

*I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network

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Ask Lyn About Homeschool: Dealing with Negative Reactions to Your Choice

Homeschool Tips: Coping with Sending Your Kids to Traditional School

Advice for Parents Facing This Difficult Transition

Heart 'N Mind Homeschool Journal

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